I've been contemplating for a while now whether I should just write this up in my diary and lock it away or just openly blog it out and let it slide under more posts but I realised I have a draft here and no opening lines in my diary so I guess it belongs here - 11 days after draft.
After this post, I'm hoping all my doubts, worries, jealousy, over protective-ness, obsessiveness and clingy-ness goes away with the click of 'publish post'. Maybe after all this I won't have to get so worked up any more about.. stuff.
I remembered the last time I walked to the station right after something happened crying like that. It was because of her, and this time it was because of her. Boy, you're good.
Because my self esteem does not exist when she is in the same room as me. I will always be second best, no matter what you say. I don't even blame your past feelings, but if you want to point the finger at something, point it at your chest where that thing you call a heart is.
When you look at me I wonder if you're looking for her in me.
Secret: I take short showers to save money on water bills to spend on long hours on the phone with you.
I know I should know better. I mean, she's got someone, you've got me. But history tells me to know better, I just can't seem to help myself.
Honestly, how do I bring this up? How do I tell you I'm just not okay? How do I tell you it's been over a year baby, and every night, my diary entries still go a bit like this;
Dear diary,
I'm still jealous of her.
Signed,
Green eyed monster - yours truly.
And so this is it, all the times I've cried at school with no explanation. All the times I've cried over the phone/online and got really moody with you with no explanation. And all the times I've simply wasn't myself with no explanation. It was because of something you said that reminds me of her, or something I see that reminds me of her. My mind throws all the worst case scenarios in my head and I'm completely convinced if she had said yes and you didn't start to get lonely and come back to me, I wouldn't be with you right now.
Thanks for sticking around through all those troubling moments when I didn't let you in.
To be completely honest I'm embarassed and ashamed of myself for not being able to trust you about this, but honestly.. can you blame me?
I'd like that shirt he's holding thanks :)
P.S. ITEMS END TOMORROW @ shoplol
P.P.S Shall do a 'normal' post sometime soon XD heehee!
After this post, I'm hoping all my doubts, worries, jealousy, over protective-ness, obsessiveness and clingy-ness goes away with the click of 'publish post'. Maybe after all this I won't have to get so worked up any more about.. stuff.
I remembered the last time I walked to the station right after something happened crying like that. It was because of her, and this time it was because of her. Boy, you're good.
Because my self esteem does not exist when she is in the same room as me. I will always be second best, no matter what you say. I don't even blame your past feelings, but if you want to point the finger at something, point it at your chest where that thing you call a heart is.
When you look at me I wonder if you're looking for her in me.
Secret: I take short showers to save money on water bills to spend on long hours on the phone with you.
I know I should know better. I mean, she's got someone, you've got me. But history tells me to know better, I just can't seem to help myself.
Honestly, how do I bring this up? How do I tell you I'm just not okay? How do I tell you it's been over a year baby, and every night, my diary entries still go a bit like this;
Dear diary,
I'm still jealous of her.
Signed,
Green eyed monster - yours truly.
And so this is it, all the times I've cried at school with no explanation. All the times I've cried over the phone/online and got really moody with you with no explanation. And all the times I've simply wasn't myself with no explanation. It was because of something you said that reminds me of her, or something I see that reminds me of her. My mind throws all the worst case scenarios in my head and I'm completely convinced if she had said yes and you didn't start to get lonely and come back to me, I wouldn't be with you right now.
Thanks for sticking around through all those troubling moments when I didn't let you in.
To be completely honest I'm embarassed and ashamed of myself for not being able to trust you about this, but honestly.. can you blame me?
I'd like that shirt he's holding thanks :)
P.S. ITEMS END TOMORROW @ shoplol
P.P.S Shall do a 'normal' post sometime soon XD heehee!
and he loves white iced chocolate with oreos and whipped cream!! BANKSTOWN GLORIA JEANS REPRESENT! hehe 
